The proof that good stress exists lies in our body's ability to process it. Special needs children have a stress response system, just like you and me. It is known as "fight or flight" mode. When they solve problems or tackle challenges, they feel good. More importantly, they remember the feeling of success. Most importantly, they love that feeling as much as anyone. This is how we prepare them to face challenges.

The last thing we wish to do is undermine the confidence of our students. They may question their ability to take on challenges, but there is no need to encourage this. We can only give them the tools to cope. Without them, there is bad stress.

Children with special needs face ongoing challenges. The fear of failure constantly lingers. Without relief, this creates chronic stress. Life becomes a matter of survival, something to escape. No one wants this for our children. However, we cannot teach avoidance. We can, however, teach tolerance.

Tolerable stress is what lies between the good and the bad. We want our children to be able to look back at success when they face new situations. This will sustain them while they are experiencing stress. It will build confidence. They will not know what lies ahead and neither will we. The one gift we can give is this two-word phrase: "I can."

Their belief is based on our support. When faced with new challenges, their minds will reference similar ones, but they will also feel the presence of those who were by their side every step of the way. We must be able to recognize common stress factors. This is how we know when they are struggling. It is how we anticipate future struggles and form strategies for handling them. One day we may not be at their side. When that day comes, we must be sure they will be self-aware and navigate the road ahead.